If I must....

Some people might not like what I'm about to say. Well, get over it. Divorce happens this day in age about as often as someone buys a pack of cigarettes at a convenient store. While the adults are affected with matters such as who gets what, the children are affected in matters of loss of a parent, loss of attention and affection, and loss of love. While a mother or father may think what they are doing is in the best interest of the child or children, it really may be hurting them in the long run.

Everyone has a past and no one is perfect. I, myself, have tried to forgive, forget, and move forward. I know how hard it can be when you harbor such ill feelings towards another person for treating you badly. But I've also learned that if you do not let go of the past, it will not let go of you. It will eat you alive with all of the angry and upsetting feelings. It is an impossible battle to win. I see ex wives and ex husbands everyday argue over matters that happened years ago. Please, do tell how something that happened 4 years ago has anything to do with today? Live for today. Not only for yourself, but for your children.

Children, the precious gifts that hold the brunt of a failed marriage's hatred. While they are 100% innocent, they believe they are 100% guilty. Why do we do this to our children? Why do we tell them things about their other parent that are not true? Why do we make them suffer and cause them to grow up feeling insecure when they finally settle down into their own adult relationship? No matter how you feel about your ex, unless they are a murderer, druggie, molester, or hard criminal, that parent has just as much right as you do to be in their child's life. As well as your children have just as much right to be in their life. A child has every right in the world to talk to their mother or father as often as they want, as do the mother and father to the child. A child has every right to know who his or her REAL mother or father is just as much as the mother or father has the right to know if that is his or her child. Why keep the child from his parent? And why keep the parent from his child?

I do not care what happened between you and your ex when you were together, or married. It should not reflect on the children. Remember, it is not their fault for the things that happened in the relationship, so do not make them suffer for it. One day, these children will grow up and resent you for not telling them who their real parent was. They will resent you for not allowing them to be a part of their life. Do the right thing. Whether you like it or not, you have children with that person that you, now, so much despise. But for the child's sake, give them what they deserve..... a Mother and a Father.